21 Tips on how to Stop Being a Narcissist

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how to Stop Being a Narcissist

It’s unusual for narcissists to question their own narcissism, especially they don’t want to learn how to stop being a narcissist. You probably suffer from a mental illness that shares symptoms with narcissism if you find yourself doubting your actions. But you should think about the possibility that you’re picking up on actual narcissistic tendencies. Get some therapy and spend some time reflecting on your life.

Table Of Contents
  1. What Is Narcissism?
  2. Am I a Narcissist? What Are the Signs?
  3. How Does One Become a Narcissist?
  4. 21 Tips on how to stop being a Narcissist
  5. FQAs
  6. Bibliography

What Is Narcissism?

Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance and little self-awareness is one way to characterise narcissism. Relationship maintenance is therefore a challenge for those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They fail to see how hurtful their words and deeds are to others around them.

Am I a Narcissist? What Are the Signs?

Check yourself for telltale signs of narcissism if you suspect you may be one. Check your actions, level of self-interest, and capacity to sustain strong connections in your personal and professional life.

Asking yourself the following questions may help you identify a narcissist:
Are you someone who needs a lot of TLC?
Can you be both attentive and absent at the same time?
Do other people find your attention-seeking behaviours annoying?
When you do anything that hurts someone’s emotions or creates problems in a group situation, do you fail to recognise or accept responsibility for your role?
Are you self-absorbed to the point that you can’t empathise with other people?
Do you distance yourself from relationships if they fail to boost your confidence or provide you with tangible benefits?
Can you not stop critiquing other people?
Do you feel ashamed and withdraw from others when they criticise you or fail to bolster your ego?
Is maximising your own achievement always more important to you than considering the needs of others?

How Does One Become a Narcissist?

Many things, such genetics, sexual trauma, and childhood maltreatment, may contribute to the onset of narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder may also result from developmental delays or impairments in a child’s brain.

Narcissistic personality disorder may have a variety of causes, some of which are:

An unstable or emotionally turbulent household: Excessive or insufficient praise, adulation, or indulgence may contribute to the development of narcissistic traits. An inherent absence of equilibrium and steadiness disrupts internal homeostasis, resulting in mental health issues such as NPD and susceptible narcissism.

Childhood exposure to narcissistic behaviours: Children raised by narcissistic parents may acquire and exhibit narcissistic traits due to the influence of manipulative family dynamics.
Brain growth and structure: Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have reduced grey matter in the region responsible for cognitive and emotional regulation, which encompasses empathy and compassion, two attributes often absent in individuals with any kind of narcissistic personality.

Childhood trauma is a significant factor in the formation of emotional scars, feelings of shame, and low self-esteem. It may also have an impact on the development of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Childhood maltreatment may lead to the development of maladaptive defence mechanisms as a means of dealing with feelings of neglect and humiliation. This might potentially lead to the development of narcissistic features and behaviour.

Genetics: Studies indicate that there may be a hereditary component to the grandiosity and entitlement often seen in individuals with narcissistic traits.

21 Tips on how to stop being a Narcissist

Narcissism is more than just a personality trait; it’s a pattern of behavior that can have a detrimental impact on your relationships, career, and overall well-being. If you’ve recognized narcissistic tendencies in yourself and are committed to change, you’ve taken the first and most important step. This guide offers 21 actionable tips on how to stop being a narcissist and develop healthier, more empathetic relationships.

1. Acknowledge the Problem

The first step in any personal transformation is acknowledgment. Admit that you have narcissistic traits that you need to work on. This self-awareness is crucial for any meaningful change.

2. Seek Professional Help

Therapy is one of the most effective ways to address narcissism. A licensed therapist can help you understand the root causes of your behavior and guide you through the process of change.

3. Practice Self-Reflection

Regular self-reflection can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Journaling or meditating can be effective ways to start this practice.

4. Cultivate Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Make a conscious effort to listen to others without judgment and try to see situations from their perspective.

5. Develop Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence involves recognizing and managing your own emotions as well as understanding others’ emotions. This skill is essential in breaking free from narcissistic patterns.

6. Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Narcissists often blame others for their problems. Learn to take responsibility for your actions, both good and bad. This will help you build trust and respect in your relationships.

7. Focus on Others

Shift your focus from yourself to others. Ask people about their lives, show genuine interest, and avoid dominating conversations with your own stories.

8. Learn to Accept Criticism

Accepting criticism is difficult for narcissists, but it’s a necessary step in personal growth. Try to see constructive criticism as an opportunity to improve rather than as a personal attack.

9. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude can shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. Regularly acknowledge the positive aspects of your life and the contributions of others.

10. Set Realistic Expectations

Narcissists often set unrealistic expectations for themselves and others. Learn to set achievable goals and appreciate progress, no matter how small.

11. Avoid Manipulative Behaviors

Recognize when you’re trying to manipulate others to get what you want. Practice honesty and transparency in your interactions.

12. Work on Self-Esteem

Often, narcissism stems from deep-seated insecurity. Work on building genuine self-esteem through self-acceptance and self-compassion, rather than relying on external validation.

13. Limit Social Media Use

Social media can fuel narcissistic tendencies by encouraging comparison and validation-seeking. Limit your use or approach it with a more mindful attitude.

14. Practice Humility

Humility involves recognizing your limitations and valuing others’ contributions. Regularly remind yourself that you don’t have all the answers and that everyone has something valuable to offer.

15. Engage in Altruistic Activities

Volunteering or helping others without expecting anything in return can help you shift focus away from yourself and foster a sense of connection and empathy.

16. Learn to Apologize

Apologizing can be difficult for narcissists, but it’s an essential skill. Practice sincere apologies when you’ve wronged someone, and avoid justifying your actions.

17. Build Meaningful Relationships

Focus on building deep, meaningful relationships rather than superficial ones. Invest time and effort in understanding and supporting those you care about.

18. Avoid Perfectionism

Perfectionism is often linked to narcissism. Learn to accept imperfections in yourself and others, and understand that mistakes are a natural part of life.

19. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and behaviors in the moment. This awareness can help you catch and change narcissistic tendencies as they arise.

20. Seek Feedback from Others

Ask trusted friends or family members for honest feedback on your behavior. This can provide valuable insights and help you stay accountable.

21. Commit to Continuous Growth

Overcoming narcissistic tendencies is a lifelong journey. Commit to continuous self-improvement and be patient with yourself as you work through challenges.

A Note from KnownPsychology

Breaking free from narcissistic behavior is challenging, but it’s entirely possible with dedication and effort. By applying these 21 tips, you’ll be well on your way to fostering healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life. Remember, the journey of how to stop being a narcissist starts with small, consistent steps toward self-awareness and empathy.

FQAs

1. Can narcissism be cured, or is it a permanent trait?

Narcissism is a deeply ingrained personality trait, but with commitment and the right approach, it is possible to manage and reduce narcissistic behaviors. While it may not be completely “cured,” individuals can develop healthier ways of thinking and interacting with others through therapy, self-reflection, and continuous personal growth.

2. How can I tell if I’m making progress in overcoming narcissistic tendencies?

Progress in overcoming narcissistic tendencies can be seen in several ways, such as becoming more empathetic, handling criticism better, taking responsibility for your actions, and developing deeper, more meaningful relationships. Regular self-reflection and feedback from trusted individuals can also help you gauge your progress.

3. What type of therapy is best for dealing with narcissism?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is commonly recommended for those dealing with narcissistic tendencies. It helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors. Other therapeutic approaches, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and psychodynamic therapy, can also be effective depending on individual needs.

4. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship if I have narcissistic traits?

Yes, it is possible to have a healthy relationship if you are actively working on managing your narcissistic traits. Building trust, practicing empathy, and focusing on the needs of your partner are crucial steps. Therapy can also help improve your relationship skills and reduce narcissistic behaviors.

5. How long does it take to overcome narcissistic behaviors?

The time it takes to overcome narcissistic behaviors varies depending on the individual, the severity of the traits, and the level of commitment to change. Some people may start seeing improvements within months, while for others, it may take years of consistent effort and therapy. The key is to stay patient and committed to continuous self-improvement.

Bibliography

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Association.

Bilotta E, et al. (2018). Symptom severity and mindreading in narcissistic personality disorder.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6093639/

Caligor E, et al. (2015). Narcissistic personality disorder: Diagnostic and clinical challenges.
https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.2014.14060723

Di Pierro R, et al. (2016). Narcissistic traits and explicit self-esteem: The moderating role of implicit self-view.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01815/full

Kacel EL, et al. (2017). Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5819598/

Ronningstam E. (2009). Narcissistic personality disorder: Facing DSM-V.
http://www.sakkyndig.com/psykologi/artvit/ronningstam2009.pdf

Ronningstam E. (2013). Fear and decision-making in narcissistic personality disorder—a link between psychoanalysis and neuroscience.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3811090/

Ronningstam E. (2017). Intersect between self-esteem and emotion regulation in narcissistic personality disorder – implications for alliance building and treatment.
https://bpded.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40479-017-0054-8

Russ E, et al. (2008). Refining the construct of narcissistic personality disorder: Diagnostic criteria and subtypes.
https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ajp.2008.07030376

Stinson FS, et al. (2008). Prevalence, correlates, disability, and comorbidity of DSM-IV narcissistic personality disorder: Results from the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2669224/

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